I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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