Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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