I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
