clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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