"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
