My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
