I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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