420 ftw
so explain again why im purple
no
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
