True but thats because hes a fetus.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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