his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
only if we run a train.
done.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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