I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
