I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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