and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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