so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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