How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
