Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
