I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
