Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
