I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Randomize