u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
