u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Semen is not good for contacts.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
