Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
false alarm. still invincible.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
