so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
birth control should be required to get into college
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
