you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
