i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
