Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
