You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
