I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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