so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I supernannyed him into submission
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
