let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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