I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
