Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
