I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
