Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
