need another drink. this is the easiest way
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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