Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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