dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
