On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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