Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
