I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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