And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
