her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
