Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
