a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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