Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
