Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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