Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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