She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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