every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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