I'm sorry my penis didn't work
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
